I don't get to enjoy the outdoors as much as I'd like to, so sometimes compensate by sleeping on my deck in the summertime. On Saturday night, something woke me up. I was groggy and remember seeing a distinct human shadow projected onto the wall of my house. The light source was my neighbor's backyard floodlight and the figure was close based on the size. It took a couple seconds, but I realized that someone was opening the gate at the top of the stairs and entering the deck. This guy was just a few feet away! Immediately, I sprang up and loudly cursed, watching him beat a hasty retreat down the stairs and back out my side gate.
I went inside, locked the door, and called 911. My wife was awake by now. "Oh yeah, putting on some pants might not be a bad idea"—the thought struck me as I spoke to the operator. I went outside to wait for the police. As the two officers arrived and went around to my backyard, the guy sprang from the other side of the house and raced across the street. All this happened very quickly, but I was very surprised that he hung around the backyard. I had assumed he would have hightailed it out of their knowing that I was on the phone with 911. More police officers arrived and began to comb through the neighborhood. It turned out that this fellow was also responsible for two earlier calls, one involving arson. One of the police officers showed me some video footage caught by one of those motion-sensor home cameras. Based on his clothing, I could say it was the same guy. He was a young, dopey-looking white guy with a black t-shirt with "MAYHEM" emblazoned in white letters.
After the police left, the worst part came: As I went back inside to check the house, I found that the the door leading into the house from the garage was open as well as the door from the backyard into the garage. This man had been inside the house at some point. My children were still sleeping upstairs ... what if ...?!
That night and for the several nights since, neither my wife or I have slept well. I am doing better now, having installed better locks and learning that the man has been arrested. The detective in charge of the case called me this afternoon, apparently looking to bolster the link to the arson. I learned the man was 26 years old and not from the area, but had been dropped off near the neighborhood that night. He was likely high on some type of substance.
Being an introspective person, I have been surprised at how this event could change my psyche so dramatically: When we come home from an outing, I need to check every room. I hear things at night and need to investigate. Some of this is probably healthy, leading me to install floodlights in the backyard and put sticks in my girls' bedroom windows. But some of this anxiety is definitely not healthy and enables me to empathize just a little bit with other people who have been violated in worse ways. With my peace gone, I realize how precious it is to have peace.
Peace is the English word we use to translate shalom (שָׁלוֹם), a Hebrew word that Jesus used to greet people in the Gospels: "Peace be unto you." Today, both Jews and Muslims still use this word as a salutation. I now value shalom more than before because I need it more than before. I need to know that my family is safe; that no one is intent on harming them.
Honestly, I am in a much better state than a couple days ago. But this was a wake-up call for me. So many people live without shalom, not just because of present physical danger but because a past trauma has robbed them of their peace. To these people, I want to say that I caught just a brief and shallow glimpse into what real psychological trauma might be like. I can empathize a little bit. But I also want to encourage you that peace is something you can reclaim. It is something that God promised to the Jewish people as they escaped slavery in Egypt, and that Jesus promised to those in need: "Shalom I leave you, My shalom I give to you; but not as the world gives! Do not let your heart be troubled or afraid." Read through the Gospels. They were recorded for you and me both.
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